This post was published in Norwegian in june -21

“Do you want to buy something from me?”

We were at a dance in Tresfjorden, about a half-hour drive from our hometown. I was 15, recently confirmed, and painfully shy. It was my 18-year-old sister who asked the question. At the time, she was an amcar enthusiast and significantly more outgoing than I was.

“What exactly?” the young boy responded. He was sitting in the shelter at the stadium with a few other teenagers. I can still picture him clearly in his red pants and white t-shirt.

My sister walked over to me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me in front of him.

“My sister,” she replied with a sly grin.

Earlier, she had declared that it was about time I got myself a boyfriend. As shy as I was, she clearly felt I needed some assistance.

“Yeah?” he said, looking me over. “How much are you asking?”

“16,000 kroner,” she answered without hesitation. She had plans to buy an American car. (Hopefully, I’m the only person she’s ever tried to sell!) He agreed to the price.

She guided me towards him and ordered me to sit down. He was sitting cross-legged but uncrossed them so I could sit on his lap. I thought he was handsome, so I did as I was told. I sat down.

But not a single word escaped my lips. I had no idea what to say.

He asked if we should dance, and I nodded. We danced, and it went well. I think we even kissed. It’s been nearly 39 years, so the details are fuzzy, but I remember that something special happened.

But still, not a word from me. That much, I remember.

The following weekend, there was another dance. I got a ride with my sister and her boyfriend. A friend and I. But he wasn’t there, and I was deeply disappointed. The evening wasn’t as successful as the last. When the dance ended, my sister and her boyfriend wanted to go for a drive, and those of us who had gotten a ride had to come along. And there on the dock, he was waiting. He got in the car, and we drove off. The conversation flowed easily between him, my sister, and her boyfriend.

But again, not a word from me.

Yet, we still kissed, and I got my first boyfriend – without saying a single word.

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In the beginning, we spent a lot of time with my sister and her boyfriend. Then I went on a three-week camping trip to Sweden with my family. From the first day after we returned home, he started showing up at my parents’ house to pick me up. He clearly knew when we were coming back, but not because of me. I still hadn’t said many words.

Fortunately, I became more confident over time. I never managed to say it then, but perhaps you’re reading this now, and if so, I want to thank you for your patience and for seeing past my shyness.

And that’s how I got my first boyfriend—without saying a single word. Now, almost 40 years later, I look back and realize how far I’ve come. From being that shy girl who could barely speak, I’m now standing on the brink of something big: publishing my own novel.

Sharing this story reminds me that even the greatest fears can be overcome, one small step at a time. Publishing a book feels a bit like stepping into the unknown again, but if I could take that first step back then, I can do it now too.

Do you have any memories of first love or a time when you overcame your own fears? I’d love to hear about your experiences. Maybe together we can find the courage to take the next step, whatever it may be.