This post was published in Norwegian on 21.06.21

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Once, my mother said that I am too free to get a boyfriend. At least, that was her answer when I asked her why she thinks I am alone. Maybe she is right, because I don’t really need anyone. I enjoy my own company.

The pandemic has influenced us over the past year, and I have discovered that living in quarantine is quite normal for me. This realization was an eye-opener. An important question surfaced: Is this really how I want to live? No, I can’t live like this my whole life. It’s time for a change. I need to leave my cave-dwelling existence. For change to happen, I need to change myself, but that can be quite challenging in these pandemic times.

So, how can I call myself free when I live in my cave?

Freedom is said to be something we have inside us.

Becoming free has been a process for me. From being a super shy girl who didn’t say a word, to daring to stand up for myself and what I believe in. From being terrified of presenting myself in a small gathering, to holding courses and presentations for up to 50-60 people.

Still, I reached a point where everything stopped.

This has become very clear now. Since I began my journey of self-development, I have become good at showing the professional Berit. Over the past few years, I have been writing a book, a novel, but I discovered that I am actually a bit afraid to publish it. A whole book. Talk about making yourself vulnerable. What if I fail?

Fear.

The familiar enemy. I don’t know what will happen when I do it. It’s easier to do nothing at all. It finally dawned on me that I must dare to show who I am. The private Berit. Without a mask.

How many books have I read, and how many courses and lectures have I attended?

“You get back what you send out,” they all say. If I don’t want to be seen (or read), no one will discover me either. I must have the courage to show more sides of myself. I must dare to strip down and dance in the storm. Because there will be storms. Whether inside or outside.

So here I am. This blog is part of my own development, my path to freedom. Practicing to dare to show who I am. We are all different. Some will like it, and others will not. That’s just the way it is. And who knows, maybe I can inspire others?

I haven’t exactly bared myself on social media, but now it’s time to step far outside my comfort zone and balance on the edge of the cliff. That’s where growth happens, they say.

This blog will definitely not be about my single life, but my grandmother once said that I was so modest that I would never let a man below my waistband. Still, I got a boyfriend early on, and in the next post, I will share how I, as a super shy young girl, got my first real boyfriend. Then you might imagine how it all started.